This article was originally published by The Red & Black on April 20, 2016 and can be found here.

The Macon Telegraph’s Jason Butt dug up the contract Ludacris signed to perform at G-Day. In addition to the $65,000 price tag and the revelation the deal was signed two days before the spring game came a rather interesting list of demands. It is glorious and reads like someone with a Target gift card and a whole lot of reckless abandon.

With this in mind, we figured we would break down some of the most delightful items on the list.

A whole loaf of bread

Evan Greenberg: White? Rye? Marble Rye? Honey Wheat? This seems outrageous, but there’s a narrative here. Stay tuned.

Listerine, toothpaste and a rechargeable toothbrush

Jordan Hill: This only furthers our theory that Ludacris was interrupted from a Target run when he was asked to perform at G-Day, but you have to admire his concern for his dental hygiene.

And Ludacris doesn’t go for some cheap toothbrush; He wants a battery-operated toothbrush he can use for years to come. It’s that sort of forward thinking that will leave Luda’s teeth shining in 20 years when he appears in “Fast and Furious 70: Tokyo Drift Off to Sleep.”

AA and AAA batteries

EG: Have you ever came back with the wrong kind of batteries? It’s the worst. Good on Ludacris for covering his bases. How’s Ludacris going to know if there’s a fire in his house if his smoke detector is out of batteries?

The only fire he wants to be associated with is his rhymes. Just some good foresight.

2 Bottles of vodka, 2 bottles of Conjure Cognac, 2 bottles of patron, 1 bottle of red wine, 1 bottle of white wine

EG: Alright, there is no way he drank all of this, is there? Plus, this the type of list that Seth and Evan, who had faint knowledge of alcohol names, had in “Superbad.” And alcohol isn’t easy to transport, either.

Also, he does realize he’s in one of the best college towns in the country? With umpteen bars that have specials and all of these drinks? I am flummoxed.

JH: And for the uninformed, that is Ludacris’ own brand of cognac. This is like when Aziz Ansari talked about Jay Z drinking his own vodka at a club. Ya crazy for this one, Luda.

1 gallon of Tropicana orange juice, 1 gallon of cranberry juice, 2 cases of Snapple, 2 cases of lemon lime Gatorade

JH: Kudos to Luda for making sure he was hydrated for his quarter-of-an-hour performance. Had he passed out, I image security and paramedics would have surrounded him, telling onlookers to, “Get Back.”

EG: Boooooo. Also, this is a clear attempt by Ludacris to impede upon juice-related matters in hip-hop, but Chance the Rapper has that on lock. He literally wrote a song about how he has the juice. Sorry, Luda. Chance had it first.

6 Hanes white T-shirts

EG: Maybe it was laundry day?

Dinner

EG: Put on your seatbelts. No, really, because this is just the best.

Ludacris requested ‘dinner for at least10 people.’ Among the food, emphasis all Ludacris’: Chicken (seasoned and GRILLED), wheat pasta, steamed brown rice, steamed mixed vegetables, mashed potatoes, baked sweet potatoes, two fresh fruit trays, one bowl of fresh salad with ranch and balsamic vinaigrette, two platters of drummette style wings (Teriyaki, Lemon Pepper, and Mild).

Ludacris, there are like five dining halls on campus that serve all of these things. And the food you requested is what I make when there’s nothing left in my apartment.

Let’s give this the breakdown it deserves. ‘Grilled’ in all caps tickled me; and the concern toward running out of fruit is a good call if a bit overcompensatory. Two different kinds of potatoes? No dessert?

Luda, there is a place downtown that serves a cheesesteak with fries in it, and this is what you wanted? Poor form.

Organic peanut butter (creamy), jelly (strawberry or grape)

EG: Lot to unpack here. First of all, creamy peanut butter. Respect. Second of all, there is no ‘strawberry or grape.’ It’s one or the other, and the correct answer is strawberry.

Last, this explains the whole loaf of bread. Ludacris likes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, in bulk, no less. Can’t fault the man. Nothing like some PB&J after a long 15 minutes’ work.

Box of Fruit Rollups

JH: This makes the perfect connection for UGA students, because they were eating these snacks and watching after-school cartoons the last time Ludacris was relevant as a rapper.

One box of Trojan Magnum condoms

EG: I’m going to take advice from Ludacris himself and move far, far out the way of this one.